Recently, I was struck with the horrible stomach bug that has been sneaking around this season. This was the first major sickness I have had, to the point that I physically could not take care of Caleb. I depended heavily on my husband and parents to take care of Caleb. It was a good three days of resting. Caleb was at my parents for about two days, although he slept at our house, which was the longest I have ever been away from him. Other than sleeping and feeling horrible, I did some reading.
A scripture that I read that really struck me was Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.”
The part of the scripture that really stood out to me was, “new every morning.” I was thinking about how loving my God is – no matter what I did that day his love was new every morning. After reading the scripture a few times I kept thinking “new every morning.” How could God be so gracious to grant me the mercy of starting new every morning?
Then I wondered, why don’t I treat myself with such love? Why don’t I give myself the chance to “start over” the next morning? Being a wife and mom are both relatively new roles in my life. I would say, at this point, I have the majority of things “figured out.” But some days are not easy. You know those days when you spend an entire nap time cleaning, and as soon as the baby wakes up it looks as though your house was placed in a time warp and went back to its original appearance. Or, when I’m typing a blog post late at night only to find that the post did not save. The days when Caleb is screaming and throwing lots of fits. The dinner I thought would taste amazing, doesn’t.
Some nights I go to sleep wondering, was I patient enough? Was I supportive enough to my family? Do Paul and Caleb know how much I love them? Do I spend enough time focusing on the things that really matter? Have I said my prayers today?
What that scripture means to me is that God loves me enough to give me the gift of having a fresh start every single day. That, once again, I would wake up and have a shot to change my regrets. That no matter what I did wrong or whatever caused me stress doesn’t matter. He loves me. He has shown me mercy by giving me this chance to start new every morning.
I was put to the test, to live out this scripture as I woke up. I still had heartburn and just felt tired. I had to visit my doctor to get lab work done, which made me even more tired, and it was the first day that I really felt well enough to spend time with my family. I found myself stressing over the mess that had built up for three days. Instead I let it go. I did what I could, and then spent the day playing and making memories with Paul and Caleb.
Reminding myself of this gave me a fresh outlook. I feel stronger and more forgiving.
I may not get it all right the next morning; however, I’m growing everyday, and its a beautiful thing.